Tuesday, April 13, 2010

THO I DIDNT GET THRU =)

ppl have been asking 'how was it yesterday[9/4/10]'
when my answer is the same...
laughs sarcastically saying 'why u wanna know'
coz it is rather embarrassing to let them down coz of my own selfishness
honestly, i didnt wanna go for auditions in the 1st place...
i didnt know how i got it to semi-finals
which i also wanted to back out
but under all those pressure from teachers n friends
i still worked on my script reluctantly
editing day n night so i dont feel stupid when presenting it
sorry adrian after all the hard work n sacrificing ur sleeping hours just to help me
i truly am sorry...if u so happen to read this
i was already damn nervous the day before the semi
took my turn on the stage for voice testing
i really wanted to back out! seriously!!
i just felt like hiding my self....but shit happens and life sucks
i still woke up the next morning
bathed n get ready
soaked in sweat, cold sweat the whole morning
couldnt seat the whole morning till noon
my throat hurt, my legs trembling, my palm sweating, my heart pounding, my mind unable to focus....
i'm not going thru this shit anymore
it was more of a waste of time...
imagine what i could have achieved with that time spent on the worthless comp....
some might hate me for saying this
i know i shud be proud of my self being the lucky 50 out of the whole country to make it there,
i am, and i am thankful for having every1 supporting me
thank all of you who wished me luck =)
tho i didnt make it but what counts is the experience gained n the frens made =)




p/s : not going for this sort of comp anymore coz i have better things to do in life than wasting it like that


~.~.~.~.~ e.N.d ~.~.~.~.~

Monday, March 29, 2010

BOYS LIKE GIRLS ~GO~

Little change of the heart,
little light in the dark
little hope that you just might find
your way up outta here
cause you’ve been hiding for days,
wasted and wasting away
but I’ve got a little hope
that today you’ll face your fears
yeah I know it’s not easy,
I know that it’s hard
follow the lights to the city

get up and go,
take a chance and be strong
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
don’t look back just go,
take a breath, move along
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on

Believe the tunnel can end, believe your body can mend
yeah I know you can make it through,
cause I believe in you
So let’s go put up a fight,
let’s go make everything all right
go on and take a shot,
go give it all you’ve got
oh yeah I know it’s not easy,
I know that it’s hard
know it’s not always pretty

get up and go,
take a chance and be strong
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
don’t look back just go,
take a breath, move along
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on

Don’t wanna wake up to the telephone ring
are you sitting down?
I need to tell you something
enough is enough;
you can stop waiting to breathe
and don’t wait up for me

get up and go,
take a chance and be strong
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
don’t look back just go,
take a breath, move along
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on

get up and go,
take a chance and be strong
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
don’t look back just go,
take a breath, move along
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
you can’t spend your whole life
holding on
yeah yeah

Friday, March 19, 2010

A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS~



tiring day but everything paid off coz we all made it happen








pictures of the day which spoke more than a million words
and memories worth keeping!

BEGINNER'S LUCK YO~

i know it's kinda late to post bout this...since most already know~
well....to begin with....
tell me should i be happy or the other way round
that i made it through the auditions n got to the semi-finals
i'm not talking bout singing or drama
but public speaking...

i actually thought of chickening out the night before the auditions
but yet i woke up early as planned
got ready n went to school to meet up with the others
gathered n boarded the bus n got anxious
during the 1hr journey
all we talked about was things to do with the pre-u council
tho i'm not a part of the exco but yet....
discussed bout a trip or to have prom
amazingly 90% agreed to have a senior's prom
a memorable 1
outside of school
we even discussed bout the dress code
after all...it is still a high school prom n there should be some restrictions to it
discussed bout how to convince the teachers not to attend =) [what all students hope for]
but sadly it was very very very difficult to come up with a proper theme
that wouldnt sound to kiddy
that wouldnt sound to pervert
that would suit our age & would sound appropriate
before you know it...
an hr passed n we're there
had lunch
then straight to segi

we reached early & got to see the early auditions
just a few of them
then suddenly came to realize that my phone was missing
thought of all possibilities n came up with a conclusion that it might still be at the restaurant
i must have dropped it there
tanx to both of my brothers who was willing to acc me back there to look for it
another 15 mins walk to the restaurant.....
asked around
amazingly lucky
they had my phone n kindly returned it to me
not mentioning bout the missed calls from adrian who was dialing to hope that some1 might pick it up....with a record breaking 27 missed calls =S [tanx bro]
and another 15 mins walk back there =S

missed the briefing but wasnt anything much near important anyway
got into the theater hall n to our respective seats
n waited for our title while other participants took their shot
it was 1 of those worst 2 hrs of my life
i couldnt pay any attention to those before me
all i hear is noise n words i couldnt put together to for any meaning
30 mins before my shot
i finally got my title
'poverty'
like shit
not as difficult as some other titles before mine....
couldnt remember much of what happened till i was done with my script
i wrote a 3mins speech in just a few mins n took 10 mins to practice
cold sweat from my palm wetting my script as i re-entered the hall waiting for my turn
when my name was called
i nearly fainted
my heart was about to beat it's way out of my throat
my hand were shaking quite obviously according to frens n family who watched
i admit...it was killing every bit of my nerves every second i spent on that stage
it was a relief when the bell rang at the 2nd min
stopped right before the 3rd min n earned myself a yellow card....
whooooo! relief at last for real
said good bye to my fellow frens who just like me...got a yellow card
thin chance of getting through anyway i thought n said
so no point waiting
got changed n went off with my sis

letting down of all that stress
we had our tea at old town
chat for near 1hr
we went off to pick another sis
on the way there...
my bro called to inform me bout the results of who made it thru
he was all happy to tell me that i was the only 1 who made it
*i froze*
*still trying to proses the words told*
wtf! no way! i shouted
that means more stress on my shoulders
as i'm the only person [a girl] to represent a boy school
like shit!
#$**&$#%^$&^(*^*(&(%^$#$@$-ed for another 5 mins
we hung up

the celebration for my 'victory'
we had a drinking session at ttdi plaza at 11.30 that night till 2am
and continued with mamak session n came up with another inside joke called 'are you sober?'



the day was tiring and stressing
but the night was the total opposite
tanx to those who wished me luck before n after the auditions
tanx to those who helped me















for the up coming semi-finals
wish me luck ppl





~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. E-n-D.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Saturday, March 6, 2010

STRESS LIKE SHIT! =(

although some people say
"it's juz ujian selaras....so what la...doesnt prove anything"
bt i still dont feel like failing anything...
it's because it is not full paper that's why 1 question can carry more marks than usual =(
arrggghhh!!
i still find myself in the relax state...
n i can feel that fever is on the rise....
wanna stay well for exam =(
fortunately....
frends around me...just like myself
are trying to do something to kick start n motivate each other to study
staying back in school for study group instead of going home asap to sleep =)
somehow....1/3 of the time of our study group was about gossiping =)
what we all enjoy most =D
hopefully we can keep the good work up...studying i mean not gossiping XD

anyway it's 0024 hr now....
it's best to sleep early...
so i better get going...
tuck my self in & zZz
nitez....or good morning =)
wish me all the best for the coming week of stress n exams =)


~_~_~_~_~ e.N.d~_~_~_~_~

Friday, February 26, 2010

为何?

亲爱的,到了此时此刻是该听时间的话,真的,坚决地放开手了!
对我的自私和固执,再多的坚持说要挽留着我,到头来始终都在白费你我的时间,你我的精神和你的心血。
或许是因我的过分要求让我自己都喘不过气来!
使我不知所措,才做出了这个残酷的决定。
单方面固执地认为你的好变成了你的弱点,你的软弱让我失去安全感,你的过于关心让我看透了你的不够成熟。
到了现在,都已过了半年,我还是无法面对你,因为我知道是我伤害你太深,使你在精神上受到了不必要的折磨和处罚,更加没面子去对着你妈。
我知道是我欠了你,我对不起你,三番四次地推了你的约会,虽然我知道你或许你只是想要和我抱歉,但真正该说对不起的是我。。。
放开我这个心灵上的包袱吧,让你自己去寻找一个比我好,会体贴,会体谅你的好女孩!

p/s:只要记住以往你我美好的回忆,把我当作知心朋友就已足够了 ,如果你选择忘了我,也是情 有可原。。。。

Thursday, February 18, 2010

CNY =)

it's the 5th day of CNY =)
have been eating eating eating drinking drinking & gambling =)
sleeps in the morning & gets up during noon =)
life's like a pig =)
bt very very unfortunately.....i did fuck all of my assignments.....
i didnt even bother to open my text books to study =S
exam wil be in a week after CNY =(
i still know fuck all bout what i'm studying...=(
it makes me feel like shit bout my self =(
why i aint studying like how other ppl are...?
why m i still sleeping my hrs away..?
why m i still at this relaxed state..?
arent i suppose to be studying?

i hope that my promise towards my self will come true that i'll start really studying hard with
no more afternoon snoozes!
no more TV!
no more on9ing for more than an hr!
read every page of the news paper!
do all my home works!
sleep b4 12.30am during weekdays!
start exercising!
do not gain anymore weight as i m very fat!
drink less alcohol!
quite clubing till STPM kisses my ass goodbye!!
quite spending money till i save my first rm3000 to get a DSLR!
drink more water!
cut down on caffein!
get rid of the panada eyes!
lastly, apply more lotion!!!!

"promise me you can do it!!"


yes i know i can coz i know this will all pay off at the end of the day!
get good results!
get a scholarship!
get in good shape![not round]
get rid of excess fats n tummy!
get rid of pealing skin!
get rid of pimples!!
get back my pack!!!!
get back my glow!!!
get back my smile!
get my heart fixed!
get my 1st DSLR!
hopefully, get a puppy =)!



happy CNY ppl,
it's 2.33am,18feb10





~~~~~EnD~~~~~